Almost nothing troubles us more than what our kids will (or won't!) eat.
Whether you fear you are raising a carb-junkie, picky eater, or veggie-phobe, the root of that parental fear is all the same: that somehow, we can CONTROL our kids' tastes if only we have the right advice and food on hand. So then we invest: in advice books, cookbooks, kitchen gadgets (slap chop, anyone?), and most notably in our time, stress, and energy. We kill ourselves in the kitchen, guilt ourselves over 'failures', and chide our partners and relatives for undermining our carefully thought out-efforts. Sound familiar?
The truth is, all kids are different. Just like they mature and grow at different rates, so do their palates.
Without further ado:
10 simple truths about raising real kids who become lifelong healthy eaters
1. real kids need real food
Helen enjoying a peach at the farmer's market
Helen enjoying a peach at the farmer's market
Whether you're an omnivore or a vegan, it pays to eat real with your kids. This is the part that's pretty much covered by Michael Pollan's new book Food Rules (you can read many here at the Huffington Post). It's pretty simple stuff - the closer to the plant, the better the food. Raw ingredients trump processed stuff. If someone is really trying to sell it to you on TV or it's covered in shiny plastic and cartoon characters, probably don't buy it. If you can't pronounce the ingredients, then don't put it in your mouth. Red food dyes are banned in the EU for causing ADHD behaviors - yet almost everything in a crinkly package here has the stuff. 'Nuf said.
2. real kids have nothing added
This is an idea that troubles some parents. So many moms I know spend considerable money on supplements and pride themselves on everything they sneak into their kids diets, from spinach in spaghetti sauce to protein powder in the smoothie. I'm not 100% opposed to this practice (in fact, we absolutely love to sink a bunch of beets into a pot of chili) but I want to stress that if it's stressing you (or your pocketbook) out, it's not worth it. After the lead-laced gummi bear vitamin scare, I'd be entirely more cautious with any supplements -although, in the interest of full disclosure, Fish Oil 'chewies' are a daily treat for my daughter Helen. But in the end, it's much more about the feeling you create around food than the actual nutritional content of the food itself. So do what you can within reason, and call it a victory.
3. real kids go on 'food jags'
For the past 4 weeks, my daughter has wanted nothing to eat but applesauce. Before that, it was hummus. Avocadoes. Gummi bears (I don't like to talk about those days). From toddlerhood onward, food jags are a normal part of childhood. Many psychologists believe it is a child's way of establishing consistency and security, much like a beloved blanket or bear.
The only proven effective method with food jags is to wait them out, and keep offering alternatives. One day I know that applesauce will be on the outs. Something else will be the "it" food. Sort of like starlets and rockstars will be when she hits those oh-so-fun tween years.
Nutritionists say that you've got to offer a new food up to 20 times before your kid will try it for the first time. Without pressure or guilt or nagging. Tall order I know, but I've seen it work wonders in insanely picky stages of my daughter's life. I offered her avocado 12 times - and on time number 12, it became food numero uno for 6-weeks in the running. Avocado's gone platinum in this house!
4. real kids need real parents
Have you ever noticed the way your child looks at you? OK, parents of teens - remember back. In the years before puberty and the hormone induced door-slamming eye-rolling ihateyouihateyouihateyou fits, your child will gaze up at you with absolute and total adoration. We all have experienced these achingly loving moments, the pat on the cheek, the sweet gaze, the deep relaxed snuggle. It is the essence of the parent-child bond, and nothing is a better mirror for how you should feel about yourself. Your child, he knows that you are the most amazing, beautiful , strong, and fabulous person on the planet. Why can't you bring yourself agree with him? Or can you?
It's a rare person that can feel good about themselves all the time. But us parents, we have a great mirror in our children, one that goes two ways. Because our child loves us so unconditionally, we can mirror that love for ourselves and come closer and closer to self acceptance. We can see it in everyone we love, and everyone who loves us. We are perfect. Right now, not 10 pounds from now, not 10 years ago, not when you fit in your skinny jeans. Now. There's a song here. No, literally. I think that the kick-ass gospel ladies Sweet Honey in the Rock put it best:
There were no mirrors in my Nana's house,
no mirrors in my Nana's house.
And the beauty that I saw in everything
was in her eyes, like the rising of the sun.
I never knew that my skin was too black.
I never knew that my nose was too flat.
I never knew that my clothes didn't fit.
I never knew there were things that I'm missed,
cause the beauty in everything
was in her eyes, like the rising of the sun.
What does your child see in your eyes?
Author Resource:-
Liz Snyder is a food activist, anthropologist, and Family Food Coach. She has a master's degree in nutritional anthropology from Oxford University, where she studied the complex interrelationships between the food marketing industry, nutrition education efforts in our schools, and their profound and unexpected effects on our relationship with food.For more information pleas visit http://www.ieatreal.com/.